Thursday, October 2, 2008

no news is no news

Before we all beat up on Batko, we should realize that he just unexpectedly inherited hundreds of patients of all ages and backgrounds in varying states of decay, through no fault of his own. He didn’t choose to be my doctor, nor I his patient, though.

But what I think the good doctor meant by being ‘lucky to have lived this long’ was that it is very rare that melanoma IV patients respond to chemo at all and I should give it another shot. Unfortunately, he is drawing the conclusion that I somehow responded ‘well’ to chemo.

Every doctor wants to believe that their method works – it gives meaning to their lives. I had planned on publishing my own theories as to why I’ve been ‘lucky’ to have lived this long, but I won’t be as presumptuous as the doctor and that sermon will have to wait, but look for my chemo tirade in my next post (rehearsed with Greg and politely delivered to the doctor/choir a few minutes ago – I had to call).

And we are in complete agreement. He discussed my case with the other oncologists and they’ve decided that I should wait and have another CT in two months. So I asked for a PET before I leave for the States to have something for the clinical trials. He argued as to its usefulness (the little lung tumors? wouldn’t show up) and suggested something called a PET/CT that would be more effective and I said ‘Let’s go!’ and he said it was booked out at Homolka for the rest of eternity and I said I’d see what I could do.

PLT: 113 (low) WBC: 8.9 (high/normal)

I had my last cigarette (a Viceroy 100 that I got from a sweet old man) on my way to the hospital Tuesday morning around 8:45 and will not have another one – ever. Although I had cut down significantly over the last year (from roughly 2 packs to 2 smokes / day), I just didn’t think that I deserved to get better if I didn’t quit, so I quit.

I did “Save a Prayer” (before he got fat) and “Landslide” (Nicks/Pumpkins mash-up) Tuesday night at the karaoke, making the best use of my lungs while I’ve still got them. I’m sure to waste them tonight shouting at the television. Don’t miss it: 21h EST on one or more of those thousands of channels you all get now.


Anonymous said...

Glad to hear I wasn't the only one disturbed by Batko's "lucky" expression. Will be doing the 5K Race for the Cure on Sunday and scrawling your name on my shirt as a SURVIVOR. Good job on giving up the smokes. Ann

Shay said...

I'm happy to here your spin on Batko's words Mike, I suppose it is a hard position, though not as yours - let us know about the scans.

We are awaiting you with baited breath here in sunny Colorado.

Pamela said...

Aww Landslide. That brings back memories of the Duplex in the W. Village, Mikey. You were brilliant.

I'm so glad you qualify for clinical trials now. I think they're doing great things with immunotherapy instead (or in conjunction with?) chemo. Either way, you're strong, you're positive and you're young. If anybody will respond well, it will be you. I'm so proud of you! I can't wait to see you in NYC.


Anonymous said...

Hi Mikey!

I am so excited to learn that you are coming to NYC, and I would love to come and see you!!!! It has been waaaaaaaaay to long. I will chat with Pamela and we will figure out the best way to all meet up. And Jon and I are sending hugs and good thoughts as you maneuver this fresh roadbump...

Loves and kisses,

michael said...

hey mike
hope that you can come over for dinner when you are in NY. Harper now looks like fiona did when we did our rock and roll song.
Tim has been keeping up to date on things

Liz said...

And I'm hugely looking forward to admiring you in person on Rugen Island in a fortnight.
Much love,
Liz x

Anonymous said...

chin up old boy, you'll have a medical degree yet.
very impressed you've had your last ciggie. well done you.
much love

VMH said...

Shit, so sorry I missed you at Karaoke. (don't laugh sarcastically, I will go some day.) Was thinking you were out of the country. In any case, I'm glad you quit the smoking. And I'm glad you can hear through the classic Slavic Central European dark view of the world. You know best how you feel, in any case. You have survived because you are a survivor Mike. Besides you gotta do the screenplay... and Oprah, don't forget Tyra...v