Just finished the last of my latest batch of ginger peppermint (with 11 fruits, herbs and spices) smoothie, which not only settles my stomach, but is a lot healthier than fried cheese and smoked sausage. Thanks for the tips!
I had two castings for commercials in the last couple weeks and, to end the suspense, I didn’t get either. The first was for a Dutch non-alcoholic beer called ‘Bavaria’ of all things. I was supposed to be a Dutch band manager, encouraging my Dutch band (is there such a thing?) to ‘Letsh get sheeriush’ - apparently by drinking non-alcoholic beer. I made the mistake, in retrospect (six hours later), of telling the casting people I could do a Dutch accent. I should have known, from my own experience, that, while non-Dutch people find my Dutch accent quaint, spot on and hilarious, the Dutch tend to get insulted and storm off for some reason.
Fact is, I (used to - up until the casting) drink a lot of this particular beer: averaging four tallboys (two liters) a day and, from my own meticulous market research, made up about 25% of their Czech sales – the other 75% being mostly tourists who think Bavaria is in Holland or that 0.0% must refer to the sodium content. Importing Dutch beer to the Czech Republic is worse than ‘carrying coals to Newcastle’; it’s more like taking buckets of your own piss with you on a hike.
The second was for GE Money Bank. Now, although I don’t bank with them, because of their ridiculous and redundant name, lack of convenient branches and outrageous fees, I was game to play the irate bank customer in their commercial. I was actually pretty irate after waiting for three hours and didn't need to act it. But no. If I can’t convincingly play a non-alcoholic beer drinker or an irate customer, I think my formerly promising acting career may come to an end before it’s even started. Leason learned: you can't pull the cancer card at a casting :-(
Had a bit of a scare last week before my second chemo cycle began. When you feel a lump somewhere and think you might have cancer, it’s a lot different than feeling lumps in the exact spots where you know you have tumors. I even thought I could feel the one in my lung. Mind you, I have never been able to make any of them out in any of the scans or X-rays and could therefore enjoy a bit of denial. Actually being able to feel them for the first time (and they were painful to the touch) was depressing to say the least. That’s pretty much subsided now, but I’ll ask my oncologist about it after my blood work tomorrow morning.
The nausea is under control for the time being, my hair is coming back in slowly but surely before it gets a chance to fall out - you may have noticed, I’m celebrating with a beard. I am, however, very tired, very often and trying to save my strength for mikeFEST! and all that that entrails. Thanks for all the comments, calls, e-mails, advice and support - again, they mean a lot, even if I don't get back to you right away. No picture this time - my hair’s a mess ;-)
I had two castings for commercials in the last couple weeks and, to end the suspense, I didn’t get either. The first was for a Dutch non-alcoholic beer called ‘Bavaria’ of all things. I was supposed to be a Dutch band manager, encouraging my Dutch band (is there such a thing?) to ‘Letsh get sheeriush’ - apparently by drinking non-alcoholic beer. I made the mistake, in retrospect (six hours later), of telling the casting people I could do a Dutch accent. I should have known, from my own experience, that, while non-Dutch people find my Dutch accent quaint, spot on and hilarious, the Dutch tend to get insulted and storm off for some reason.
Fact is, I (used to - up until the casting) drink a lot of this particular beer: averaging four tallboys (two liters) a day and, from my own meticulous market research, made up about 25% of their Czech sales – the other 75% being mostly tourists who think Bavaria is in Holland or that 0.0% must refer to the sodium content. Importing Dutch beer to the Czech Republic is worse than ‘carrying coals to Newcastle’; it’s more like taking buckets of your own piss with you on a hike.
The second was for GE Money Bank. Now, although I don’t bank with them, because of their ridiculous and redundant name, lack of convenient branches and outrageous fees, I was game to play the irate bank customer in their commercial. I was actually pretty irate after waiting for three hours and didn't need to act it. But no. If I can’t convincingly play a non-alcoholic beer drinker or an irate customer, I think my formerly promising acting career may come to an end before it’s even started. Leason learned: you can't pull the cancer card at a casting :-(
Had a bit of a scare last week before my second chemo cycle began. When you feel a lump somewhere and think you might have cancer, it’s a lot different than feeling lumps in the exact spots where you know you have tumors. I even thought I could feel the one in my lung. Mind you, I have never been able to make any of them out in any of the scans or X-rays and could therefore enjoy a bit of denial. Actually being able to feel them for the first time (and they were painful to the touch) was depressing to say the least. That’s pretty much subsided now, but I’ll ask my oncologist about it after my blood work tomorrow morning.
The nausea is under control for the time being, my hair is coming back in slowly but surely before it gets a chance to fall out - you may have noticed, I’m celebrating with a beard. I am, however, very tired, very often and trying to save my strength for mikeFEST! and all that that entrails. Thanks for all the comments, calls, e-mails, advice and support - again, they mean a lot, even if I don't get back to you right away. No picture this time - my hair’s a mess ;-)
3 comments:
"F" acting, you are too good for them anyway and your Dutch accent is so spot on! The smoothies sound good and the chemo sounds bad. hope to speak to you this weekend. Glad to have you back on skype. A
Dear Mike,
You got me. I was sweating up my thighs with a laptop while watching Gretta Van Horn on television. She's conservative television for those who aren't mean or smart enough to watch Bill O'Reilly. Anyway, I came across the "buckets of piss" remark while munching on a mouthful of blue corn chips, and it was like a Camaro hitting a cat. Stop the mayhem Shirley! Very painful. Anyway, I am glad to hear you're weathering the storm, rare wit intact. I’ll call tomorrow and I am sending a happy meal with Christine.
Tom Parker
the beard is great. it gives you an air of gravitas.
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